Tune in to their favourite radio station

I recently was asked to watch and to comment on the speeches of two people. Both speakers were vastly different in their approach and in their content, however both displayed the same type of problem in their delivery.

The first speaker, Bob, had a compelling personal story to tell. You know the story: he had a difficult childhood, grew up angry at the world, developed self-destructing habits, and came close to losing everything. Then, something happened to turn his life around.

Bob had an accident which left him crippled. Doctors thought he would never walk again but he refused to give up. Through sheer will, he managed to get back on his feet, literally, to the surprise of all medical specialists. Although he physically isn't back to 100%, and he never will be, Bob is as functional, if not more, than most fully able-bodied individuals.

These stories are great. When well told, they inspire us, they make us laugh, they make us cry. And we can learn a lot of lessons of courage and persistence to apply to our own lives.

Professional speakers would kill for such a story. Mind you, if they did, they'd be telling their stories behind bars — badabing!

The second person, Jack, is actually a trainer, not a keynote speaker. In his training, he weaves parts of his life's story throughout his examples.

Jack explains that he developed an expertise that was in high demand, so he became the go-to guy in his office. You know, a Jack-of-all-trades — badabing!

When there was a crisis and something needed to be done quickly in order to resolve the situation, everyone turned to Jack.

Jack's story teaches us how working on our skills and applying ourselves can reap great rewards. He teaches that you should never assume that the skills you currently possess are sufficient. You must take part in lifelong learning if you do not want to fall behind.

So, we have two great stories to tell, yet both were lacking in the same way: it was all about Bob and Jack. In both cases, the stories were designed to shine a favourable light on the speaker. Little was left for the audience.

As I was sitting listening to them, I kept wondering “So what?” If I hadn't gone specifically to hear them out, I probably would have stopped paying close attention.

This is when it becomes crucial to tune into the radio station that your audience is listening to: WIII-FM. What Is In It For Me?

How do you do that when the main character in your story is you? Should you drop your great story just because you are the hero? Not necessarily. Here are some tips to turn a story about yourself into a story about your audience.

Invite the audience in your story: make them part of the story by including them in the action. You can do that by saying something like, “If you had been with me on June 15 2007, you would have fallen in love too. There she was, the prettiest sight I had ever seen. Sunlight bouncing on her light, yet firm body. Never had my eyes beheld such beauty. Yes, the 2007 Lotus Exige S was more than I ever dreamed it would be.”
The magic words which invite your audience into your story are: “If you had been with me...”
Tell your story through an audience member: tell your story as you lived it but when you want to make a point, put your audience in the action instead. You can also pick one specific person in the room. For example, imagine that you are describing a soccer game and there is a lady called Joyce in the audience.
“That's when I saw the other kid's dad rush onto the field and punch my son in the stomach. [Look at Joyce in the audience] How would you react if you saw your child go down in pain, after he got hit by an adult more than twice his size? Would you stay on the sidelines, like the rules of conduct say? Or would you jump off your seat, and run to the center of the field, to confront the man who had just hurt your son? That's what I did. And he was twice as large as me!”
Weave in and out of your story: this is the technique that the best professional speakers use. They tell part of their story, interrupt it to make a point, then get back to the story again.
One person who does this particularly well is W Mitchell. He had a motorcycle accident which burned most of his body. He topped that with a plane accident that left him without the use of his legs.
In his speeches, he says, “This wheelchair used to be a prison for me. Because I couldn't use my legs I felt trapped by my circumstances. What about you? How have you let yourself be trapped by your circumstances?” He is constantly weaving in and out of his story.
Because of his skill in doing so, we never have the impression that he is going through some sort of therapy on the stage.

As I said in the previous newsletter, don't make your speeches all about yourself. Don't make your audience sit through hours and hours of your boasting. Make sure you tune into their favourite radio station. Otherwise, you can be sure they will change channels or turn off their receiver.