Répondre au commentaire

Embedded stories

It was a hot June afternoon, the sun was shining, and the crickets were singing. My wife Johanne, and my three children decided to take a dip in the pool. At that time, my daughter Manu was four years old. My eldest, Aléko was six years old and Vivi, the baby, was less than two years old.

Manu is a ball of energy that only knows two speeds: fast and very fast. She acts first and then, if she has time to realize what she did, she thinks it over... Maybe.

On this beautiful June day, the whole family (except me, I was toiling at the office) was making the most of a great summer. Manu did not yet know how to swim, so she had to wear arm floaters when she was around the pool. Usually, she followed directions.

After playing in the pool, Manu decided to warm herself in the sun. She laid out her big towel on the ground, took off her floaters, and lied down close to the deep end of the pool. Johanne was near the shallow end of the pool taking care of Vivi.

After a while, Manu began to feel hot and wanted to refresh herself in the pool. She quickly got up and jumped in... without her floaters.

Have you ever noticed that when a catastrophe approaches, everything seems to go a bit slower? You have time to see the catastrophe happen, you want to prevent it, but you are unable to.

When I was younger, I went to visit a camp for handicapped children, in the region of Joliette, with George a university buddy. We went there because the previous year, George had worked there and had fallen in love with a young girl who also worked there. His goal? To try and conquer her heart. In one day, no less!

One hour after our arrival, when George realized that he would not be able to seduce the love of his life, he decided to leave. We climbed aboard his old Lada, and we sped away. George had the pedal to the metal and was passing all the cars he could.

We were driving on a small country road with two lanes. In front of us, a car was moving at 102 km/h. We were going at 103 or 104 km/h and George decided to pass the other car.

The poor Lada was doing the best it could, but had much difficulty passing the car ahead. George was determined to pass it, no matter what. As for me, all I could see was another car coming straight at us in the opposite direction. George refused to slow down and return to the right lane.

My knees were slowly moving towards my chest, as I braced for the impact. But I had no control over the situation. I was being led by another.

I am often surprised by people who tell me that they have no choice in life. They say that their life is unhappy, but they don't change it because they believe they aren't able to. It's the victim mentality.

I lived through that a few years ago. I had a good job, exceptional work conditions, and a great salary. Nevertheless, every morning when I woke up, I felt depressed.

I dragged myself to the office, I had no enthusiasm, I no longer smiled. When I came home at night, all I did was to complain. But I remained in my job "because I had no choice, I have to eat and pay my bills." Little by little, I was dying, knowing I wasn't doing what I was supposed to be doing in life.

Why do we choose to stay in a situation which is not helping us? What makes us accept a situation that is less than ideal? So many people in this world lead great lives. Why is that? I believe it is because they choose to create that life.

How did they create that life? In a fairly simple matter: by making a list of everything they want to do before they die. Whether it be in their personal life, professional life, financial life, love life, spiritual life, or material life. Then, they worked to reach those goals.

I recently decided to create such a list, and here are some examples:

to give conferences in front of more than 10,000 people;
to write a novel;
to own a Ferrari;
to visit New Zealand;
to get a black belt in tae kwon do.

There are many more. As I reach each of these goals, I'll write them off my list. I have the intention of adding to that list constantly. The longer my list is, the more motivation I will have to work hard to accomplish what is written in it.

It is a process that began some time ago; the seed was planted long ago but took a long time to germinate. I believe it really sprout when I decided to leave my corporate job, in order to have my own company, the one that will one day allow me to give conferences in front of 10,000 people.

It wasn't an easy decision and I regretted it for some time, until I adapted to my new reality. Until I realized that it was my choice, that no one else had imposed it upon me. I was in control.

It was no longer the same situation as with George. George had his foot on the accelerator and the hands on the driving wheel; he was in control.

Fortunately for me, he was only controlling his old Lada.

Fortunately for me, the car on our right slowed down and moved closer to the shoulder of the road.

Fortunately for me, the car in front of us also slowed down and moved towards the left. This allowed all three cars to pass at the same point, at the same time, without an accident.

After that, George calmed down considerably. We eventually got home in one piece.

Sometimes, you need a traumatic event to realize that you have not necessarily made the best choices in life. Sometimes, these traumatic events end up being a great asset in our lives.

When Manu fell in the water, Johanne barely had time to get up. But before she had time to reach her, Manu managed to paddle to the surface, to reach the ladder, and to get out of the water.

As she got out of the water, she turned to her mother and told her with a big smile, "Did you see that Mommy? I saved my life all by myself!"

On that fateful day, my daughter Manu began saving her life by learning how to swim.

And you, what are you doing to save your life?

The story above illustrates a technique called embedded stories that is relatively simple, but you need to watch out when you use it. This is what it looks like:

Decide on your message.
Choose four stories that illustrate the points of your message.
Begin the first story.
Before ending the story, begin the second story.
Before ending the second story, start a third one.
Before ending the third story, start a fourth one.
Make a point, and end your fourth story.
Make a point for your third story, and end the third story.
Make a point for your second story, and end the second story.
Make a point for your first story and end the first story.

The technique is simple, but it has a remarkable effect. Your audience is hooked until the end of your stories. During this time, their minds open up and they take in more of what you say.

Here's a tip: if you do a meeting and you want to prevent people from leaving before the end, use this technique! Begin a story at the beginning of the meeting, and don't end it before the end of the meeting.

Since most people want closure, many people will would think of leaving, will stay only to hear the end of the story. If you forget to tell the end of the story, don't worry: someone will remind you!

The most difficult aspect of this technique is to decide where to interrupt your story, and also to decide how many stories to use. Four stories are a usually a good number. With a little practice, you'll soon figure out what fits you best.

Don't hesitate to take a risk and try out this technique. It's a simple, remarkable, and effective tool. To top it all off, it is a lot of fun!